Back in Malaysia till .. August. It has been a week plus since I have been here. I'm really happy that I could catch back all the food I've missed for the pass 6 months. Definitely catched up with most of the things I missed.Well not entirely, but I'm happy to be able to live the life I was living 6 months ago. Shopping and eating and nagging and texting. I'm pretty satisfied with that. Not mentioning staying up watching Korean shows and dramas.
The reason of blogging today.. It has finally hit the head on me. I thought I could hold on to what we have missed on but I was so wrong. So very wrong. It is sad to say that 3 years of liking you has just washed down the drain like this. I don't know if it was painful for me to leave your toy at the place that I'll hardly visit again. To throw away that shirt you gave me knowing that I'll be unable to fit into it. To come back and realize there was NO welcome message. NONE. To find out that even if you knew I was coming back, you never found ways to make the both of us able to catch our favourite artists concert together. All those things you said before were just words of comfort. And I actually thought those words were words of hope, to make me not think too much of it when we are gazzilion miles apart. Even time difference was a difficult thing. I was willing to stay up just to talk to you. Spending money on those long distance calls, but those were all me and my imaginary world. There was no future to it and I have finally woken up. I can't even find myself to cry because of this even if I know my heart is so broken...
you were actually the one i loved the most even if you did nothing to me, getting to know you and talking to you was my only joy..
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