New environment

Once again I'm blogging in a NEW foreign place. University! Who would've thought time would fly by so fast xD HAHA !! It was pretty horrible during the first week. Socializing, getting to know each other, adapting to culture. Really another experience. I can't even count the amount of party that has happened! Nah, I'm just exaggerating. Parties here are just unbelievable. It just goes out of hand! I still haven't got used to that. Anyway, the first day of school has finally kicked in. I have to say many thanks to dear CIC back in Hamilton for giving me hell. This does not feel any like it at the moment. I get to wake up just on time for class. Really a privilege! I can say that I would not get lost on campus ground thanks to all the orientation programs! Its been a great great opportunity and exposure. Hoping for the best to come :)

Goodbye !

I'd make you stay if I had the chance to

Hello once again. Its my second time blogging in such a short period of time. Wasn't it like just the day before? Oh well, everything has been so cooped up in my mind and obviously there is not really many people who knows what I am going through. Well I can actually say no one. But its good too, I don't want to be bothering people like how I used to before. That's really bad. I know the feeling too. Today, I got another offer from another uni. I can say its really good to get it from there. Thank God for that. Just that my problem is I'm really reluctant to go to the other one that I've registered to. At the same time I know my parents have spent alot and its not a good thing to just terminate it. I'm still bothered because of yeah. Gosh I just wish everything can be erased in a much easier way. Its killing me ....

If only we were together

In another life...

Hello blog,

Back in Malaysia till .. August. It has been a week plus since I have been here. I'm really happy that I could catch back all the food I've missed for the pass 6 months. Definitely catched up with most of the things I missed.Well not entirely, but I'm happy to be able to live the life I was living 6 months ago. Shopping and eating and nagging and texting. I'm pretty satisfied with that. Not mentioning staying up watching Korean shows and dramas.

The reason of blogging today.. It has finally hit the head on me. I thought I could hold on to what we have missed on but I was so wrong. So very wrong. It is sad to say that 3 years of liking you has just washed down the drain like this. I don't know if it was painful for me to leave your toy at the place that I'll hardly visit again. To throw away that shirt you gave me knowing that I'll be unable to fit into it. To come back and realize there was NO welcome message. NONE. To find out that even if you knew I was coming back, you never found ways to make the both of us able to catch our favourite artists concert together. All those things you said before were just words of comfort. And I actually thought those words were words of hope, to make me not think too much of it when we are gazzilion miles apart. Even time difference was a difficult thing. I was willing to stay up just to talk to you. Spending money on those long distance calls, but those were all me and my imaginary world. There was no future to it and I have finally woken up. I can't even find myself to cry because of this even if I know my heart is so broken...

you were actually the one i loved the most even if you did nothing to me, getting to know you and talking to you was my only joy..

I wish...

He said it today. Hah.. Well, at least it was a straight off answer. Moving on even I know how hard it is.

new start

Hello once again :)

The summer semester has finally started. What do I have to say about my new summer semester? Calculus & Vectors presenting Mr. Lee (seriously, he is not my father) now let me start about this AWESOME teacher who loves to torture his students with loads and loads of homework. Seriously, with the hectic school routine of 8 30 to 5 . Not mentioning trying to catch the bus at 7 in the morning. Long waiting lines during lunch that you don't even feel like eating. 3 hours and 15 minutes staring at only 2 teachers. Calculus and International Business. It is good that my Business teacher is pretty funny. Its like a mood calmer to the first two hectic classes. Sigh.. Tired.. I should catch some sleep for this weekend. Test 1 for Cal just ended. Test on business next week.

I love you blog :)

If its not really your thing then tell me

Why hello again my dear left alone blog :)

Its been about 3 months since I last updated this page. I can say that I have finished my first semester successfully. Well, something like that but yeah its finished and tomorrow I'll be.. starting my summer semester which is somehow not what I'm looking forward to. The holidays were great no doubt and I certainly did enjoy it.. But thinking of a summer semester with an everyday class that lasts from 8 30 till 5 ? I can cry just to think of the hours I'm studying two subjects. Seeing the two same teachers everyday. But what much can I do but to continue to work hard in order to continue what I have just started here :) Well moving on to my inner feelings, I do not know where to start. I thought everything will be great when I arrived here well that seems to be the case but I do have that long dreaded feeling of home. I do miss you a great deal. I'm saying it from the bottom of my tiny heart. I miss you till death. I miss talking to you and waiting for all those silly short text messages you give me. I miss how we used to have weird but special names for each other and I knew after coming here, none of this will happen again. Its like the wind blowing away flour. So fragile and easy. But having to know of such would happen, I took it all in and endure it myself because I know that you will never think this deep. Its a woman's problem. Its myself. I can't force somebody into something that they would not want to continue. Its my problem to forget whatever that happened because I know you left no memories. It was forgotten just as I boarded the plane, maybe it was kind of a relief for you.

I have said what I feel like right now. I'm just looking forward to more adventures here in the land of maples.

Goodbye :)

greetings

New place, new environment, new people. Some people are just hard to predict in this world. What might seem good on the outside may not just be what you think it is. Some times i think of the many good stuff I had back in Malaysia compared to now, I do wish I could turn back time and enjoy the most I could. No doubt being here is not that bad but what I really miss the most was the slight of personal freedom I had back in the days where I used to stay in my room and get to use my internet freely, without worrying about other people's space likewise their sleeping routine and stuff. What I find to like about here? I haven't really found it yet. I somehow liked the food back in Malaysia, the culture and system we used to have back there. Some times I feel like I'm leaving in my own dream. I don't realise how many miles away am I from home. How long will it take to the place where I belong. But yet again, I will try to adapt myself into this new place. To find my own new grounds and try to fit in. . . . .